The whys of Petunia
by knowregrets
Summary: Lily always ruins everything! Petunia's life would be perfect if it wasn't for her. This is a short selection of interludes in Petunia's life showing how a freaky brat can ruin the good times. Extended and updated.


AN – Extended, updated and Beta read – thanks to Igenlode Wordsmith

_April 1960_

They had her. Wasn't that enough? Why wasn't that enough? Hadn't she been enough for them for the last five years? Was it something she'd done? Was she a bad daughter? She had tried to be good. She had always done what she was told. Well, nearly always. So why did they do this? Petunia crept closer to the cot and peered in. Inside was a bright red ugly little thing with a tuft of red hair. And it smelt funny. The baby opened its eyes and stared up at Petunia. She frowned at it. "You've ruined everything!" she whispered angrily.

"Ah, John, John, come and look at this! Petunia is making friends with Lily, isn't it sweet!"

Petunia turned round and smiled at her parents. "It's very small." she said.

"She, darling, she's a she not an it! She's called Lily. And she'll grow up big like you and you'll have a little sister to look after and play with – won't that be nice?"

Petunia turned back to the cot and looked down at her sister. "Yes", she said quietly. "Nice." She stared at Lily in resentment. Why wasn't she enough?

"Oh, isn't she adorable – look at those green eyes!" That sentence was practically all Petunia heard from her aunts for weeks. And it wasn't Petunia's eyes they were talking about. No one ever talked about Petunia's eyes that way. Hardly anyone ever talked about Petunia at all, or even talked to her. And when they did actually notice her, all they talked about was Lily.

"Won't it be nice for you to have a baby sister to look after, Petunia?"

"Have you learnt how to change a nappy yet, Petunia?"

"Aren't you going to be such a help to your mother with the baby, Petunia?"

It was a rude shock. From pampered only girl cousin, she had gone to being ignored – and why? It wasn't anything she'd done herself, it couldn't have been. It was **her**. It. The baby. Lily. So while she smiled and simpered for her parents and aunts, she looked at Lily with narrowed eyes. That thing, that squally little red-faced funny-smelling thing, had ruined everything. And what was so special about her eyes anyway?

As she glared at her sister she decided. Her parents were going to regret this. She was going to be the best daughter ever. They would soon decide they didn't need the baby too. Soon.

_October 1964_

Petunia came home from school tired. She had had PE in the afternoon and the teacher had run them ragged. She dropped her schoolbag on the floor and sank into an armchair with a dramatic sigh. It was so wearying being nine sometimes.

"Play with me!"

Petunia turned and looked at her little sister sat on the floor surrounded by metal farm trucks and animals. "Not now, Lily, I'm wiped."

"But I waited for you – I've been alone all day. Play with me!"

"I said no!"

"But Petunia …"

"Oh go away, you little brat!"

Well Lily wasn't about to take that one so she lifted up a brown paper bag and whacked her sister on the leg with it. "Aaarrrggghhhh!" Petunia yelled, "that hurt!"

"Play with me!"

"Mum!" Petunia screamed.

"What are you making that infernal racket about, Petunia?" It was her father, scowling as he entered the room. She hadn't realised he was home; he usually wasn't at this time of day.

"Lily hit me with that paper bag it's got …"

"Don't be ridiculous, Petunia. How can a paper bag hurt you? If you don't shut up I'll give you something to really scream about!"

"But Dad, it's got something in …"

"I said be quiet!" Petunia froze at the look on his face. Their Dad was not a man to get angry. "Is that your schoolbag? And you just decided to dump it on the floor like that. Honestly, can't you do anything right? Put it away now and then go do something useful instead of screaming the place down. You obviously have energy to spare if you can shout like that and I'm sure your mother could use some help in the kitchen. That'll keep you busy and out of trouble. And don't let me hear you yell at your sister again, do you hear?" With that he left the room, slamming the door.

Quietly Petunia bent and picked up the paper bag, extracting the metal truck concealed inside. She stared at the guilty looking four-year old girl in front of her. "You," she said slowly, "ruin everything."

"'M sorry, 'Tunia. I just wanted to play."

Petunia ignored the little girl's apology as she turned and walked from the room.

_June 1968_

Petunia wasn't exactly creeping downstairs, that would suggest that she was doing something she shouldn't and no one ever said she shouldn't go out with her friends that Saturday afternoon. OK, no one exactly gave her permission either but that was hardly the point was it? No, Petunia wasn't creeping, merely walking quietly.

"Ah Petunia, there you are!" She nearly jumped out of her skin at her mother's voice behind her. "I've got to go and see your Aunt Grace today, she is having one of her bad days, poor thing. I need you to look after Lily."

"But Mum, I was going out."

"Where?"

"The park?" Petunia said tentatively.

"Excellent, you can take Lily. Lily dear, go get your coat. Petunia is taking you to the park!"

"But I was meeting my friends and ..."

"Petunia please, just do me this one favour without arguing for once in your life! Your Aunt Grace is very ill and I have to go."

"One favour? You are always making me look after her! It's not fair, just because I'm the older one, why should I be stuck with …"

"Petunia! Honestly, why do you have to be so selfish? Have some consideration for others, please. Think of your poor Aunt Grace!"

As Petunia and Lily arrived at the bus stop, the four girls waiting there turned to look at them with horror. "What I want to know," said Katie carefully addressing the other girls, "is why on earth did Petunia Evans bring her strange little baby sister?"

"It's not my fault – my Mum just dumped her on me!" Petunia said resentfully.

"But", protested Bess, "she'll tell your mum about the B.O.Y.S."

"I'm eight not three!" Lily was annoyed. "I know how you spell boys. And I won't tell."

"You better not!" Petunia said to her. "There'll be so much trouble if you do. Trouble for you anyway." She turned to the others. "See, she won't tell. And it wasn't my fault. I had to bring her."

"But Pet," Bess said, "it's not like it's the first time you've brought the kid along somewhere. Anyone would think you liked having her tagging along when we go out."

"It's my Mum. She dumps her on me. She won't get in the way, I'll make sure of it."

"Actually, I'm not sure you should come at all, Petunia," said Katie. "After all, what do you think the boys will say if they see her? And we are going to the cinema."

"I like the cinema," Lily said quietly. "Petunia could still go with you."

"Yes but you can't!", Said Petunia crossly. "We were going to see the Graduate, it's a double A, you need to be 14 – they'd never let you in." At that point the bus showed up.

"Sorry, Pet." Said Bess, as the four girls climbed onto the bus, leaving Petunia and Lily behind. "Maybe next time."

Petunia stood and watched the bus go off. "You ruin everything, Lily!"

"Sorry, Petunia. But you couldn't have gone to the cinema anyway, you're only 13 and you said you had to be 14."

"Oh honestly, you are so naïve sometimes!"

"What do you mean? 'Tunia, what do you mean by that?"

"Oh never mind." Petunia looked down at her sister resentfully. "OK, let's go to the park."

As Lily played on the swings, Petunia sat on one of the benches and sulked.

'Why me? Why do I always get dumped on like this?' She looked around the park. There was no one her age there that day, no one she could talk to. She sighed loudly and looked back at the swings. Lily was no longer there. Instead she had climbed to the top of the climbing frame and was manoeuvring herself into a standing position on the top bars.

"Lily! Get down from there!", she yelled, jumping up and rushing towards her. "You know you aren't supposed to stand on the top beams, you'll …" it was too late. Lily lost her balance and started to fall. It was as if time stood still for a second. Then suddenly there was screaming coming from the other children. Petunia dashed over to the climbing frame, pushing the crowd of children away to get through, to find Lily, to see if she was hurt. But Lily wasn't hurt. She was sat on the ground, dirty but uninjured, not a scratch on her.

"Move out of the way. Now!" a man yelled from behind her. "Are you all right young lady?" It was Mr Bennett from down the road. He must have been out walking his dog, which was at his side licking Petunia's hand. He bent down to Lily.

"I'm fine, honestly." Lily clambered to her feet.

"You are a very lucky young lady, a fall like that onto concrete and not a scratch on you." He turned to Petunia.

"And you, you're her sister." Petunia nodded, although it hadn't been a question. "What on earth were you thinking allowing her to try and balance on the top like that? She could have been hurt or even killed!"

"I didn't see, I tried to stop …"

"Mr Bennett, it wasn't Petunia's fault, honestly. And I'm fine, not even bruised."

"You are a very lucky young lady." he said to Lily, "But your parents do need to know about this, you might have damaged something without realising it. I'm going to need to tell them, just in case."

After her parents had fussed over Lily, ignoring her protestations that she was fine, and put her to bed with a hot chocolate, they turned to Petunia. The resulting lecture left her seething; the unfairness of it all hurt more than the swipes her father gave her with the back of the hairbrush.

'Lily falls and I'm the one with the sore bum.' Petunia thought resentfully as she lay on her front in bed that evening. Tears filled her eyes as she thought of her original plans for the day. What was the point of ever making plans? Lily always ruined them.

_July 1971_

Waiting for one's CSE results was a trying time. Petunia's open anxiety had a gratifying affect on her parents. Several times a day Petunia had heard them hush Lily, or tell her to be considerate of her poor sister. After all, Petunia's whole future rested on these results. Waiting for the post became the tensest time in the Evans household. Even the girls' father was affected.

For the first time in years Petunia felt she was the centre of attention. The centre of attention in a good way that is. OK, yes, Lily had passed her eleven plus and was going to the grammar school and that news had been irritating. "Oh, Lily's so clever, the Grammar school!" But that news was old now and it was Petunia's turn to shine. In truth she was sure she had done well in her exams, but being anxious about the results had so many more advantages.

Finally, the day arrived. With trembling hands Petunia opened the envelope and read the results. Both her parents waited with bated breath. Petunia sat there staring at the piece of paper in her hands, barely breathing, waiting for the right time. And then slowly, gently she smiled.

"I knew you'd do all right, Petunia, well done," her father said as he took the paper from her hands and read through it. "Not bad, not bad at all. So have you thought what …"

"Dad," said a quiet voice. "I got a letter. It says I've got a place in a school for witches."

Petunia sat there and simmered while her parents and Lily discussed the letter. This was a joke, she thought, it had to be. Magic didn't exist. Oh, there was no doubt that Lily was strange, all Petunia's friends thought so too. But witches? Real? But her parents didn't seem to think it was a joke.

They were full of questions. What kind of school could it be? What sort of things might they teach? Who was this person coming to see them? Petunia's results lay forgotten on the table where her father had dropped them. Even in Petunia's moment of triumph her strange, freaky, batty sister had stolen the limelight that should have been hers. Again.

'Lily,' thought Petunia resentfully, 'always ruins everything. This was supposed to be my day. My day. She steals even that from me.'

_December 1977_

Christmas. It was always Christmas. It was the hardest time of year for Petunia. The rest of the year, she lived in a small flat in town, perfectly content with her ordinary life, her ordinary job and her ordinary fiancé. No not ordinary – perfect. Vernon was perfect. Vernon was going places. He had a good job, he just had a promotion and they were getting married. Petunia had been planning her wedding for the last year, now it was only six weeks away she was starting to panic. There was so much to do – the wedding had to be perfect, just had to be.

But Christmas, Christmas she had to visit "home". And Petunia could no longer pretend she didn't have a strange freak for a younger sister, not when Lily was right there, home for Christmas too. Holidays had always been awful, ever since Lily had started that freaky school. She had come home with weird ideas and jokes – turning a teacup into a mouse, just as Petunia was going to lift it up. Their parents thought it was funny. It hadn't been funny, it had been disgusting. Petunia could barely touch tea for months afterwards, just the thought of touching that mouse – urgh. And those strange smells and noises coming from her room were just disturbing. But did anyone else see it that way? Of course they didn't. Clever Lily. Pretty Lily. The same spoiled little baby she had always been but now worse. Naturally everything she did would be fantastic. Petunia had been so glad when her parents let her move out into lodgings nearer to her work. Especially since she moved just before one of those dreadfully long summer holidays that Lily had.

But they insisted, they always insisted, that she come home every Christmas. So Christmas became a time of year to dread for Petunia. The only time she had to see her freaky sister, the only time she couldn't pretend that her world, the normal world, was the only world in existence. And this year it was worse. This year, Lily had brought home a boy – another freak like her. He was out for the evening. Visiting his freaky friends or freaky family or something. But he'd be back the next day. Petunia was thinking about the next day with pure dread. But her parents would not shut up about that horrid boy.

"He is a grand lad, Lily. You keep hold of him you hear!"

"I'm glad you liked him, Dad."

"Dad likes Vernon too, don't you, Dad?" Petunia couldn't help herself.

"Oh, Vernon's nice enough."

"You said you liked him!"

"I'm sure he's just fine for you, Petunia, just what you need, but Lily, my Lily needs a boy with more spunk to him! And this James has spunk to spare!"

"Actually, Petunia, about Vernon …" Lily said.

"What about Vernon?" Petunia snapped.

"Have you told him, you know, about me and Hogwarts and stuff?"

"No," Petunia said resentfully, "Mum and Dad gave me strict instructions not to – standard procedure." She practically spat the words.

"Well, I think it's time," Lily said firmly. "After all, he is going to be family. You can tell him before we have dinner tomorrow, that way he'll get to meet James and me properly."

Suppressing a shudder at the thought of Vernon having to put up with dinner with her sister and her freaky boyfriend, she latched on to the first part of Lily's speech. "He was going to be family 10 months ago when we got engaged, and Mum and Dad said not to – I haven't enjoyed lying to my future husband you know."

"Well now …"

"See, the thing is, Petunia," their Dad interrupted his youngest daughter, "now it's, you know, definite. I mean, not like the last time."

Petunia was flabbergasted. How dare they bring up that? Her first, brief and disastrous, engagement three years ago still bothered her. No one likes to be left in that way. And they had thought that Vernon, that Vernon would do the same? How could they? Without saying another word Petunia stood up and walked out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

The next day was going to be hell. Petunia felt hollow inside, as if someone had cut into her and extracted all her vital organs. As soon as she let her anger at her father's comment die down there it was. The sinking doom feeling that the next day was going to be it, that the next day Lily would ruin everything once more.

_December 1977 Continued_

Vernon sat in silence for a long time. Then … "Petunia love, are you sure?"

She nodded. The silence returned absolutely. Petunia became aware of every little noise, her heart beat sounding louder and louder beneath her breast until she was sure that the noise must be deafening in the silence of the room. Finally, he spoke softly, "I suppose I better meet her. But I'm not sure about this, Petunia. Not sure at all."

Conversation at dinner was awkward. Actually it went quite a bit beyond awkward. Vernon was jumping at every movement Lily or that horrid boy made. Glaring at them with suspicion. Petunia knew he was having doubts. Of course he was. Wouldn't anyone normal have doubts when presented with this?

That horrid boy started talking to her father about something called Kwittich or similar. Naturally her father was interested. When had he ever been interested in anything Vernon had to say? Vernon had tried to initiate many conversations with her father about his interests. Vernon's drilling company stories were fascinating. And her father had acted like he was bored! He never asked Vernon how his work was progressing, or what he had done at the weekend. But here he was asking all sorts of questions about some stupid freak game.

Then her mother jumped in the conversation. "So what were these two teams called again?"

"It was the Appleby Arrows and Montrose Magpies, Mum," Lily answered her.

"And it was a brilliant game!" the boy added. "The Arrows seeker pulled off a fabulous Wronski Feint, never seen one so good. And she was only a reserve – bound to make main squad next year if she stays, although I've heard the Harpies are sniffing around her."

"And you play yourself, James?" Petunia's father asked.

"House team since third year."

"James is a chaser," Lily added. "He's quite good, but not as good as he thinks he is!" She stuck her tongue out at him cheekily.

"I'm going to ignore that comment as, obviously, it's complete rubbish!" the boy said to their father as he chuckled. Chuckled? Their father never chuckled. He just wasn't the chuckling sort. But this boy shows up and suddenly he is chuckling. This horrible freak of a boy made their father chuckle! Petunia shuddered.

"So, do you play any sports, Vernon?" the boy asked.

She looked at Vernon. He looked panicked at being addressed by one of **them**; after the incident earlier in the evening with the WD40 Petunia wasn't surprised. It had disturbed her and (much as she hated to admit it) she was used to that sort of thing from Lily. "Vernon plays golf every Saturday," she said, "don't you, Vernon? Golf is very important to a business career. Isn't it?"

"Golf!" her father said. "Never could understand the point of golf. Always felt that was a ruin of a good walk myself! But this game of yours, James, sounds fascinating."

As the conversation turned back to this Kwittich they had been talking about, Petunia felt Vernon's hand reach for hers under the table and give it a squeeze. Perhaps it wasn't all over. Perhaps he would be able to see beyond her freak sister and would still love her, still want to marry her, even after knowing the truth about her sister. But as the evening progressed, things deteriorated. Vernon's obvious horror at **their** behaviour brought back all her doubts. Why on earth would he want to be related to those freaks when he could marry someone from a normal family?

As soon as dinner was over Vernon left. He barely said a word of goodbye. Petunia spent the night upstairs in what had been her old room. After she had moved out her parents had moved all her things into the attic and turned the room into a study for her father. Now, whenever she visited them, she had to sleep on a camp bed set up in the corner and could only use the room when her father wasn't in there working. Not that there was a problem this Christmas as her father had spent all his time with that horrible boy. She spent the evening staring at the walls, trying not to think about the possibility that Vernon might call off the wedding, unable to think about anything else.

The next morning she drove over to Vernon's house. He looked pale when he opened the door. Pale and drawn as if he hadn't slept. Petunia's heart went out to him. He should not have had to face that, face them. He was nice and sensible and normal and those freaks were just odd and strange and horrid. Petunia knew, as Vernon let her in, that it was over. That there was no way he would want anything to do with her after seeing that. Seeing Lily and that boy. But she had to try. She loved him and she wanted so desperately to have a normal life. She had to try.

"I'm not like that!" she blurted out as soon as she was indoors, "I mean, she's a freak, always has been, and I hate it. I hate it all. I'm not like that. I'm not like that at all." He didn't answer, just sat down and stared into the corner of the room. They sat in silence, Petunia looking at the carpet, Vernon at the wall. He was her future, her hope. And Lily had ruined it for her again. When her anxiety levels had risen so much she was sure that it was over, that he'd leave her, that her freak sister would have ended this one chance Petunia had at happiness, simply by being the oddity she was, he broke the silence.

"It's not natural and I won't have it. Not at my wedding. Petunia, love, I'm sorry but I'm not having her there."

"Of course not, Vernon, whatever you say." The relief flooded through her. He still wanted her. He didn't want her sister and, quite frankly, she couldn't care less about her sister any more. "Let's just forget about her, pretend she doesn't exist."

He stood up and smiled at her as he took her hand. "Yes, that would be best." He bent down and kissed her forehead. "My brave Petunia, having to deal with unnaturalness like that. I'm amazed you turned out so normal. But you don't need to worry any more. We, you and I, we're normal and I will not let any of that strangeness ruin our lives."

Petunia thought she had never been so happy in her life. As she rested her head against his ample chest and felt his arms surround her protectively she couldn't help the relieved smile on her face.

'See, Lily,' she thought, 'no matter how much you try, you can't ruin everything. And I'm going to have a normal life. A normal life with Vernon.'


End file.
